August 5, 2013

My Heart Beats for You

Diligent is the word I would use to describe my approach to documenting this IVF/pregnancy process—from snapping photos, to recording videos, to journalizing experiences. Ironically, just when I was not prepared, I had the sweetest experience a mother-to-be could have. Perhaps it was meant to happen that way—a special moment, untainted by the worry or concern of electronic recording devices. Mere words cannot do the moment the sweet justice it deserves; however, for the sake of keeping record I’ll recount it the best I can.

During my first OB/GYN appointment (after “graduating” from the fertility clinic) the doctor pulled out the Doppler fetal heart rate monitor to search for the baby’s heartbeat. He quickly located my own heartbeat—slow and steady—but struggled to locate the baby’s. He assured me that at 10 weeks, it was probably just a little too early to locate the baby’s heartbeat with the external device.

Just then, he moved the Doppler slightly to the left and there it was—rapid and full of vigor, beating at 160 beats per minute in beautiful synchronization within the very sound of my own, resolute heartbeat. It was absolutely incredible.

I laughed aloud with joy, wrapped in the pure beauty of that exact moment suspended in time. It was one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments, written in my memory forever—so perfect that replication would be near impossible. 

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